Name: Kim Hafer

Husband :Matt Hafer

Occupation:   Special education teacher  for  Berks County Intermediate Unit in Early Intervention and a Mommy.

 Children-Jake is 5 1/2 and Kayla is 3.

Describe a typical week day in your house.

A typical week in our house has increasingly gotten more hectic and as the years pass by and I can imagine it will just continue to be that way! It is a good hectic though. A weekday goes like this: My husband and I get the kids ready in the morning, the kids go to an at home babysitter (Joy) whom they love! Matt goes to work as a codes inspector in Kutztown and I go to work at BCIU as a special educator. My son goes to preschool 3 days per week. When we come home from work and the babysitter, the kids get a snack and watch some cartoons or play outside, and we eat dinner together. We have swimming lessons and t-ball at night. Kids get baths/showers, we watch some TV, read books, and go to bed.

Describe a typical weekend day.

A typical weekend in our house usually starts Friday nights with hanging out with the neighbors and playing outside, then movie night if it is not too late. This is one of our favorite days of the week. Saturdays usually start out with Jake and Matt getting up as soon as the sun comes up and Kayla and I trying to stay in bed as long as our bodies can stand it. Which usually is only until 7:30/8:00 am. We try to stay in our PJs as long as we can, eat breakfast together and try to clean up the house, do laundry. The kids run around the house and play and/or fight together.  If it is nice out we take walks and play outside and we usually have something to do on a Saturday night. Sundays are about the same Highlight of weeks: Spending time together, snuggle time in the mornings, NOT having to RUSH around, children laughing, the relief when my son asks me if we can stay home and I can say yes, when the house is clean (for at least one hour .   Lows of the workweek and weekends-I don’t like rushing around, I don’t like when weekends are packed and when they fly by.  I don’t like laundry piling up, and clutter filled rooms.

How do you keep your family organized?

 I try to keep my family organized by having a calendar on my fridge and putting everything on there.  I try to have laundry done on the weekend and have my kid’s clothes ready for the week on Sunday nights. I go food shopping for the week to be prepared for dinners for the whole week so I don’t have to keep going to the grocery store.  The key for us is to make the mornings as easy as possible.  I have everyone’s lunches ready the night before and I have bookbags ready to go and anything we may need for the next day.  We stick to a schedule as best as we can so the children have clear expectations of what their days will look like.

What do you consider to be your biggest achievement in Mommyhood?

Being flexible and learning as I go.  I am so glad that I am able to learn every year and change things as my children change.  I think the biggest frustration I experience in mommyhood is when I expect things to go one way and it does not.  I learned this early when I tried to put my first child Jake on a sleeping schedule at 2 months old…Yeah, right! I learned fast to go with what the baby needs and not what you want it to be.  My kids have taught me MORE about life than any school or job could ever teach me.  Biggest bummer of mommyhood-NO MORE NAPS and a fuzzy brain

What is your biggest achievement OUTSIDE of Mommyhood?

 I have a strong desire to find myself again after having 2 children.  I actually missed who I used to be and missed the motivation I used to have to make myself a better person.  In discovering myself again I found that I really enjoy helping other women to find themselves and to have support in this life so we can be the best wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends that we can be.  I made a Facebook Page called Ladies who live, laugh, and learn as an inspirational page to support women and let us know that we are not alone.  We enjoy reading inspirational books like The Joy of Imperfection (Thanks Jane!) and The Happiness Project.  We try to keep life in perspective by looking at what we are grateful for instead of what is going wrong in our lives.  I really enjoy learning about different ways to ensure complete happiness in all avenues of my life.  Not only mentally but physically as well.  I truly believe that if we are not truly happy with ourselves then our families will not be happy.  Recently, I began taking herbal supplements and that has helped me to be a happier and healthier person. I thought that many other people could benefit from these supplements so I am now a distributor for the company. I enjoy sharing these supplements with other women and men to help them feel better mentally and physically.  Not to just get through the day but to actually enjoy the days so that the time does not just fly by. I am very afraid of waking up one day and regretting that I did not enjoy the time I had with my kids when they were small.

Who inspires you?

 Positive people, people who have a goal to reach and go for it, people who are kind to others and look to help others.  People who are able to surpass odds in their lives.  People who continue to work on bettering themselves.

How do you recharge, what fuels you?

I really enjoy a good nap, I enjoy eating chips in front of the TV. I enjoy some heavy carbs every once in a while like mac and cheese or pizza.  I enjoy taking a walk by myself outside, I enjoy running at times.  I enjoy reading inspirational books like The Secret.  I enjoy some reality TV like The Voice and a guilty pleasure of mine is watching crazy reality TV like Intervention.

Tell us 3 things that are on your bucket list.

1. Another honeymoon with my husband somewhere tropical,

2. Have a successful job or business where I wake up in the morning inspired and motivated to start the day

3. Watching my children have children of their own

How do you use photographs in your home to show your devotion to your family?

I love the photos that Jane did for me. They are one of my favorite things displayed in my house.  I have them in our play room and our family room.  The images of the kids are images that I would never have been able to get myself and I am very grateful.

Tell us about your children.

Jacob-5 1/2-A bull in a China shop but soft and sensitive at the same time.  He is my guy that I worry about in the morning and I worry about when I go to sleep.  He is a free spirit, outdoorsy, dirt loving, worm digging, creek jumping, tree climbing, bike riding little boy.  When he accomplishes something I am so proud of him that I can actually feel my heart swell just for a second.  Jake needs constant reassurance and guidance from the morning until night time.  He has taught me more patience then I have ever known that I had and has made me love my husband even more then I did before we had him.

3 years old.  Kayla is my little treasure hoarder, pink and purple loving snuggle bug.  She loves sucking her thumb and feeling the silky part of her blankie at the same time.  She hates getting her hair combed. She loves being a little helper.  When she snuggles with me or puts her arms around my neck I feel a sense of warmth and comfort and it reminds me to enjoy THE MOMENT.  She likes getting dressed up but also does not need any persuasion to get muddy in the creek with her rain boots on with her brother.  She has chocolate brown eyes that melt my heart and make me feel that there is a piece of me as a little child inside of her and that life is good.

Thanks for letting us into your life and your heart Kim, it’s spectacular!

Devotedly yours,

(His father and I had just committed a serious parenting FAIL.

A cluster **** of a mistake that I lost sleep over.)

I took a breath and listened.

With my whole body to his

Slumped over, head down,

nibbling small bits of his graham crackers,

eyes staring off distantly

shoulders creeping towards his ears,

legs hanging like wet noodles from the chair.

His body was shouting at me.

*I’m in pain Mama.*

We called him over to the couch.

Thus began a discussion where we, as a unit of 3,

explained

apologized

discussed

cried

held hands

problem solved

hugged.

A few minutes later he went back to his graham crackers.

I took a breath and listened again.

He sat tall.

Swinging his legs.

Shoulders relaxed.

Big bites of his crackers.

Eyes relieved.

And then, my body whispered to me:

*I’m so glad you took the time to listen*

(I hope I don’t fail him again….

though I know I will,

so I will just keep listening…it’s all I can do.)

Communication occurs through body language, gestures, smiles, giggles and facial expressions.

I know because it’s how I communicate with the world.

So, when I met Tanner and his family, I felt at home.

And understood.

Tanner’s challenge is not communicating with the ones who love him.

Dude has that down pat.

His family has embraced him for who he is.

Celebrating each new word and overcoming each challenge with devoted joy.

His big brother, Austin, quietly leads his siblings with intent and grace.

While his little sister, Haley, makes sure everyone knows exactly what she and Tanner are thinking!

Together, this trio makes communicating easy…

full of laughter and full of silly.

Words need not apply.

Thanks for the opportunity to speak my own language  you guys, it was  a dream come true…

Devotedly yours,

P.S. I’ll be supporting Tanner and his family at a 5k Walk in August to raise money for children with Apraxia,

you can join us by clicking on this link: Tanner’s 5k Walk