Dear China Mom,

She has these two dimples when she smiles, tucked into the lower quadrants of her cheeks. If you aren’t looking too closely, you might miss them, only because her smile takes over her face. I often wonder about those dimples, if she had them at three weeks old, when you wrapped her up in a blanket and left her in the wee hours of the morning. Did you ever get to see them?

     She turns seven today.

7! Seriously?

    The weeks before her birthday are usually rough for me. I think of you often, my heart pulling towards yours, knowing you are thinking about her and wondering if she is ok, alive even, and I ache for that. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish I could just pull you close, wrap you in a hug and whisper into your ear…

“She is ok. In fact, she is amazing.We could never thank you enough for bringing her into this world.”

     She has one of the strongest spirits I have ever seen. She’s full of love and fire.

    She has a death look that could take out an army in one shot. She uses it well.

She is fiercely intelligent, yet we often wonder if her head is full of air.

And that mass on her back that probably secured your decision to relinquish her?

It’s gone.

And she can walk, run, jump, skip, tackle and squeeze our guts out.

She’s an amazing athlete in fact. Softball is her game, slugger is her name.

You have so much to be proud of.

I pray for you. I pray you know that she’s ok.

She’s more than ok. She’s loved, protected, and adored.

She was the piece of the puzzle that was missing in our family.

Our perfect fit.

How could we ever thank you for loving her enough to let her go?

Your strength astonishes me.

Yet, it doesn’t, because she must get her strength from both of us.

So, I know you agree with me as I say:

Happy Birthday Sweet Madeline Jane Xia Ammon.

You are so loved, from both sides of the world.

~Jane